Episode 20-
Dr. Amanda Seay
Dr. Amanda Seay on Adversity and Grace
People who show grace and poise during stressful times are often compared to a swan drifting across the water. You might not see it, but there's a lot going on under the surface to maintain that calm exterior. They rehearse, they plan, and they still get the jitters, even if they are very experienced and talented.
Today's guest is Dr. Amanda Seay, an accomplished and accredited dentist and private practice owner who also educates through her training organization, imP.R.E.S.
After graduating in 2011, Amanda went on to become a mentor and clinical instructor at the Kois Center. This conversation was recorded before the 25th Kois Center Symposium, where Amanda was speaking.
Amanda’s advice for anyone struggling with self-doubt is that "when someone sees something in you that you don't see in yourself, you need to believe them." She now mentors many early-career women, sharing her lived experience of balancing family and dentistry. As a mother of four kids, she has plenty of advice to share.
Resources
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What's In This Episode
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Amanda’s winding path into dentistry
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Her first, nerve-wracking experience of presenting.
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What advice does she give to other people trying to balance work and family?
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Something surprising that not many people know about Amanda.
Transcript
Recording:
Extraordinary.
Leader.
Innovative.
Integrity.
Honest.
Courageous.
Curious.
Thoughtful.
Brave.
Unafraid.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
There is a place where technology and art meet, where work and play are one and the same. When the threads of curiosity are pulled in this place, the spark of innovation ripples across industries. Those who make this place their home are giants, titans who pursue creative passion while leaving their mark.
Recording:
Creative.
Flexible.
Brilliant.
Clever.
Confident.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
They are courageous thought leaders set on changing the practice of dentistry and their corner of the world. More than the sum of their parts, we deconstruct the traits that bind these uncommon innovators.
Recording:
Humble.
Daring.
Discipline.
Playful.
Principled.
Spontaneous.
Open.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
To discover what makes them contrary to ordinary, where we explore the extraordinary.
Hi, there. I'm Dr. Kim Kutsch, host and founder at CariFree. I'm fascinated by what makes the paradigm shifters, world shakers and art makers tick. Let's embark on a journey. Extraordinary is a place where ordinary people choose to exist. Together, we will trek the peaks of possibility, illuminate the depths of resilience and navigate the boundless landscape of innovation to discover how some of the most innovative dentists and thought leaders unlock their potential and became extraordinary.
On this season of Contrary to Ordinary, we explore the motivation, lives and character of the innovators who see limitless potential around them, the people behind some of the largest paradigm shifts in the practice of dentistry. People who show grace and poise during stressful times are often compared to a swan drifting across the water. You might not see it but there's a lot going on under the surface to maintain that calm exterior. In the same way, if you've ever sat in on a lecture delivered by today's guest, you might never realize that she still gets nervous sometimes.
Dr. Amanda Seay is an accomplished and accredited dentist and private practice owner who also educates through her training organization, ImP.R.E.S. After graduating in 2011, Amanda went on to become a mentor and clinical instructor at the Kois Center. I actually spoke to Amanda just before the 25th Kois Center Symposium in 2023 where she was presenting. On top of all this, Amanda has four teenage children. But what about Amanda's own childhood, how did it all start for her?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I was the only child for about nine years and my parents are Vietnamese and very traditional, they raised me to learn the language and speak the language. But also, being the only child and my parents, my dad was working all the time, I think that I was not a typical child in the sense that I played with toys or had friends my age. I was with my mom all the time and my dad owned different businesses and, on the weekends, we would be at his business and I would just be in the back room of his office drawing or dancing around in the office.
I had happy memories when I was younger in that sense but not a typical childhood where you remember playing in a neighborhood with other kids or play dates, it was mostly just with my family, my mom and my dad, it was just our little unit. My grandmother actually lived with us as well and so, really, it was always focused around our family and how we were going to get a house one day and take care of my grandmother who lived with us and also bring more family members who were still in different parts of the world from after the war to bring them over and get them situated.
So, it was always about the grit and the perseverance of striving to do more for the family and it wasn't so much focused on me as a child, should I say.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right. So, early on, you were really taught the value of family.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes, that's ... Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And it sounds like you were comfortable playing by yourself.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So, you were independent. So, when did you decide that you want to be a dentist? How old were you?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I was in college and near the end of the four years and I had a best friend who told me she was going to become a dentist. And Kim, to give you a little background, I really was not focused as a child growing up meaning I would do well in school but not exceptionally well. I struggled a bit because I wasn't focused. So, when you come to high school, you need organization skills, you have executive functioning skills and that I lacked because my parents went through a messy divorce and separation and I think I just didn't have any guidance from my parents as well.
So, I was a little bit lost and, going into college, same thing, I did okay but not wonderful. And so, when we got near the end of college and my friends are starting to tell me like, "Oh, I'm going to go to nursing school or I'm going to move back home and work with my dad or I'm going to ..." Everybody seemed to know what they were going to do and I actually had no idea what I wanted to do.
My mom, being a very traditional Asian mother, wanted me to be a doctor or a doctor and so I was a biology major but I just couldn't really see myself being ... She wanted me to be a pediatrician or an internal medicine doctor or something and I just didn't have the desire or belief that that would be something I would do with my life. And my best friend, her name is Erin, who lived in my hometown, her family was like my second family because, when my parents went through the divorce during college, I would come home and actually live with her and her family and they were the family that I never had. They had dinner together every night, they took great vacations together, they were so involved in their kids' lives and so I just really looked up to them.
And her mother was my godmother, I looked up to Erin and so, when Erin said I'm going to dental school, I'm like, "Well, I don't even know what that really is." My parents barely took me to the dentist so I don't really have some dental experience that I could relate to. But I thought, "Well, geez, that's still being a doctor so that checks the box for my parents," and so I applied. Really, that's truly ... It is such an off-the-wall decision.
And when I went to dental school and when I had my interview at NYU, I remember being in a room with about 10 other potential students and the dean was going around asking everybody where they're from and if there's any specialties that they want to get into and everybody is going around and some people were like, "Oh, yeah, I want to go into periodontics or endodontics or prosthodontics," and I remember thinking I have no idea what any of that even means. I just thought there was just dentistry, I didn't even know. That's how little research or exploration of that as a career I did.
I was actually very nervous and very scared because I felt like I was a little of a puppet for my parents and then I am like, "What am I doing? I can't do this just because my mom wants me to do this. I'm really nervous."
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I think there's often a perception that extraordinary people were always set on the path to greatness, that they knew exactly what they wanted to do and who they wanted to be but that's not always the case. We don't all have that one teacher or one parent who set us on our path. Sometimes the road ahead looks uncertain and even turns back on itself multiple times. Amanda has said before that, when someone sees something in you that you don't see in yourself, you need to believe them. The person who saw greatness in her was John Kois.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
What's interesting to me is that John teaches so many people and I know that he wouldn't say to me that I could do something unless he really believed that I could. And I remember, I was just a regular student at the Kois Center, I actually went through Pankey Training before I went to Kois. And so, I came out to Kois, I took occlusion as my first course and I struggled with this case I brought and I asked my mentor some questions but I still was not getting it, not understanding. And so, I went up during the break to John and I said, "I don't understand why this case is dysfunction because X, Y, Z," and I started asking him.
And so, he started asking me questions to test my knowledge and my understanding and I think he could just see how confused I was and he said ... Break time was over, the shades were going down, he had to lecture and he said, "Okay. Can you meet me at 6:00 a.m. in the morning and let's go over this case?" And I remember thinking, "What?" And so, I went and he went over the case and this was my first course. And so, I tell you that story because I was a slow learner, I think I took a occlusion three times, literally, because I had to unlearn some things that I learned as well. I was never this stellar student that John's like, "Oh, she's just done something so innovative and cool," I wanted to learn, I wanted to get better, I wanted to know what I could do differently.
And as I got my mentorship and became a CI, it was right around that time that John said something to me and he's like, "You've presented a few times at the center when you come as a CI," he's like, "You do beautiful work," he's like, "I think that you should teach on composites." And I remember that, I'm like, "What? Teach something? You've got to be kidding me, there's no way." He's like, "Well, you've published a lot of articles on it, you obviously document everything, you take beautiful photos. Why not?" And I am like, "If John Kois is telling me this, maybe I can do this."
It's just not anything that I ever had on my vision board for myself is to be an educator. Nobody knew who I was, I was at home with my kids, I would just submit photos off cases that I was already doing and I had a ghostwriter most of the time so I didn't feel all that special. I was just I'm just doing regular work and I take photos and everybody's making everything else happen. And so, when John said that to me, I was so humbled and honored but it wasn't something that I actively pursued but it made me feel really good inside and that maybe I do have something that I can share or maybe I really do do pretty good composites.
But had John not put that in my ear, I don't know that I would've said yes to the opportunity. I'm driven but I've got to learn everything and make sure that I know how to do it super well before I'll put myself out there and it almost prevents me from moving forward sometimes. So, when they asked me to do it, I've never, at this point, even put a keynote together so it seems ridiculous to say yes. But had I not had the confidence from my greatest mentor saying that I should teach on composites, it was this nudge where I felt a way that God was saying, "Say yes. And maybe you won't like it, maybe it's not what you're going to do but at least try it."
So, I did my first lecture, I think I spent 200 hours learning how to use keynote, put slides together and I flew to this little Amish town in Pennsylvania. And in my hotel room the night before, by myself, practicing over and over and over, I think I memorized it word for word what I was going to say which is, for a full day lectures, is ridiculous, there's no way you can do that. But I was rehearsing, rehearsing, I brought probably every adapter from the Apple Store that they had because I'm like, "I've never done my own AV, I don't know what I need."
So, I showed up, I plugged my own computer in, got everything set up and I'm like, "Okay, okay, I can do this." And so, I went out to have breakfast with some of the participants that were coming to the course, it was just a small little study club and they were asking me where I was from and I told them I was from Charleston and they're like, "Oh, wow, you came all the way from Charleston for our study club." I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I'm excited about this," and they're like, "Oh, that's great."
And so, I excused myself from breakfast, I came back to the room to just, again, collect my thoughts, get ready for the presentation and one of the dentists that I was sitting having breakfast with, he's older gentleman, probably in late 50s, I was early 30s at the time, came in and he looked at me stunned. I was sitting having breakfast with him so he knew who I was and he looked at me and he scoffed and he said, "You're our presenter?" And said, "Yeah, I am," and he laughed and he said, "Honey, I've been practicing dentistry since before you're even born." And I realized that he didn't know when I was sitting there that I was the speaker, he thought I was just an attendee.
That's how I started the day and I literally was trembling. I was close to tears and everybody in the room was older than me and just that voice of doubt, what are you doing here, why are you doing this and what do you have to teach all these people that do have all this experience and have been practicing longer than you have. And it wasn't until I got probably to the afternoon, the hands-on portion. I stumbled through the morning, I can't even tell you how it went because I can barely remember it, I think I blocked it out of in my mind. But when we got to the afternoon, which was the hands-on photography portion, these people were supposed to bring their cameras. I would say, about 20% of the people actually know how to use their camera and the man had made that comment most certainly did not know how to use his camera.
And it was just a moment of realization for me that there's always going to be people that doubt you and myself being the biggest doubter of myself. But maybe, like I said, that voice kept coming back, maybe you really do have something to share and teach. And when I was done, I came back to my room and called my husband and he said, "Well," he's like, "How did it go?" I'm like, "I think pretty terribly." He is like, "Well, I guess you don't want to do that again, do you?" And I was like, "You know? I don't know. Not really, I don't think I do. But if I were going to do it again, I know how I would do it differently."
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
When you hear Amanda speak or teach, you would never think that she was nervous or that all of her material had been rehearsed for hours and hours, she just seems like such a natural. Again, we can picture her as that graceful swan gliding effortlessly above the water as the real work goes on underneath. Clearly, even though she was almost paralyzed with nerves in the early days, Amanda has managed to cultivate a steely resolve. She sees things through even if they're hard. I wonder, where did this resolve come from?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
The only thing I can compare it to as an experience was when I was doing ballet as a child. I was late coming to the dancing world, usually you want to start as a child. And when I was a child, when I say I did ballet, I mean I'd take a little class here and there. I was by no means enrolled in five days a week and my parents would take me to classes because, actually, it was something that, in our culture, it was viewed as taking away from my studies, it would distract me from school. So, I loved it but I didn't really get to do a lot of it.
And it wasn't until I got to middle school, I was 13, which was late to begin dancing, that my dad was in a different business where he was really away from home all the time. My mom stuck me at the YMCA, had this dance free class that they had done all the time and I could go and so I went as much as I could. And she was busy, I had other siblings now so she wasn't really paying attention much so I went to a ton of dance classes and then she actually started to enroll me. But I think the self-doubt even then was there because I loved it but I was in a room with dancers that have danced for so long. My body couldn't do the same things that they could do, I wasn't as flexible as they were.
But it was, well, I'll practice more, I'll do more and, when I come home from dance class, I'll keep practicing, I'll keep stretching, I'll keep doing it and I got better. And I started to compete as a solo ballet dancer and I got good at it, not as good as I wanted to be or as some other dancers but, for when I entered as a 13-year-old as a dancer to where I came out two years later, I did a lot in a short amount of time and so that's the only experience that I could really compare it to. So, when it came to dentistry, I thought I'm maybe not the best at what I'm doing as an educator, maybe I'm not the best at even qualified at doing this but, if I keep doing it and keep exercising that skillset, that it will grow, it will get better and things will maybe reveal itself.
So, I always lean back on that one experience that I had to really guide me with dentistry of not knowing if you're capable but working hard and keep being persistent and being open to the possibilities and the doors that may open for you. I still get really nervous, I still get really scared and the fear of failure. Getting ready to speak tomorrow for the 25th symposium, this is with our tribe, the people that I feel safest with but, yeah, I don't want to disappoint John, I don't want to disappoint my colleagues and I feel that pressure. I'm definitely not built like, "Oh, yeah, I'm going to crush it tomorrow. I'm going to step on that stage and I'm not nervous and I'm not going to rehearse," I am definitely not built like that.
I've been practicing, I've been preparing, I've been thinking about it when I'm in the shower, when I'm on the exercise bike.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Uh-huh. Amanda, it is really interesting because I've seen you present a number of times and you are so composed and appear to be so relaxed and confident when you're ... And I think you just get into the moment because you love teaching, right?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So, you may have those pre-jitters before you take the microphone but, literally, one minute or two minutes into it, you get into your zone. Because I think it's going to be interesting for people that have seen you to hear that you get nervous before you present because, watching you present, I would never have imagined that.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Thank you.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Well, when you do the 20-minute, 40-minute, one hour presentations, those are the worst for me because I feel like every word you say counts and you have to be concise.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah, people don't get that. But if you've presented, the hardest presentation in the world is 20 minutes.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes, yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Because to be able to get in, deliver your message and get out in 20 minutes, that's really limiting. You have to be hyper-focused on the topic and have it very concise. I'm amazed when I watch a good TED talk that the amount of material they can deliver so effectively in such a short period of time, that's the hardest presentation to give.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Agreed, agreed.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Sometimes, we think we fear failure but it's actually success that we find terrifying. Psychologist and author Gay Hendricks calls this the upper limit problem. In his book The Big Leap, the fear of success is a self-imposed barrier that prevents us from achieving what we truly want. We place this limit because of self-doubt, imposter syndrome and an innate desire to stay in our comfort zone. Amanda has continually battled her fear of success and emerged victorious. She's now a mentor and has plenty of advice to share with others who have their own struggles.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I just tell them though, I think the organization piece of making a goal for yourself because I'm thankful I got where I am but I wasn't necessarily so focused on a goal. And while I'm doing what I love now, I wish that I would've planned better in a sense where if ... A lot of young women ask me because they want to have kids and family and they want to do a certain type of dentistry and my biggest advice to them when they ask me how do you do it with kids and a practice and all this stuff is it's organizing your life. So, making the things you want to do for yourself count first.
So, for me, I wanted a certain time with my family that it was non-negotiable. I wanted to be home by a certain time, I wanted to have certain vacations with my family and so I planned for those things first. And then, personally, I knew, I said I wanted to graduate Kois in five years and I did it in three but sometimes you fall short of that goal but, if you don't have a plan and work backwards from there, life just happens, it gets in the way and, next thing, you're behind what you wanted to do. And I feel like I did a little bit of that the first five years of owning a practice and having kids but, once I got to that place where I could see something different for myself, that's when extreme planning and organization came in and I said, "Okay, now what? I've graduated Kois, I don't want to be done, I want to keep going."
So, got my mentorship and that's around the same time that the teaching and the lecturing happened. You can do all these things and still have kids but you need to prioritize your life first, your family first because these women will have tears in their eyes who they're at a course that I'm teaching and they'll cry and they'll say I feel so guilty being away from my family right now and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing and it's so much money, it's so much time away and I'm like, "But this is a decision that you have to do with your family, with your spouse and make it a reality." And when my kids were little, I could take them with me to a lot of these and make it a fun vacation as well. Now, they're teenagers, they don't want to do anything like that.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Hi, Contrary to Ordinary listeners, we're going to take a short break from this conversation for our segment, Questions with Dr. Kim. Don't go anywhere.
In this segment, I'll answer a listener's question about their dental health. If you have a dental question that you want answered, send it to podcast@carifree.com, that's C-A-R-I-F-R-E-E.com, and add questions with Dr. Kim in the subject line. If your question gets read out on the show, we'll send you a small gift to say thanks for checking in. This week's question reads, "Hey, Dr. Kim, I have a question about cavities which I know you'll be able to answer. I know that the pH of my mouth will affect how likely I am to get cavities but I don't really understand how. Could you explain this to me, please?"
Thanks so much for the question. Cavities or dental caries, as they're also called, are my expertise so I definitely have an answer for you. The pH of your oral environment plays a significant role in your risk for dental caries. Dental caries are primarily caused by the demineralization, the loss of minerals, of tooth enamel due to the acids produced by the oral microbes, the biofilm, when they begin digesting the food and drinks that you are consuming. Every time you eat or drink something, the pH in your mouth drops significantly as the microbes begin to process the food and drink.
In a healthy mouth, about 30 minutes after you are done eating and drinking, the pH recovers. During this cycle, the pH drops and the mineral leaves the surface of your teeth and, during recovery, the mineral re-enters the surface. This dynamic of demineralization and remineralization goes on every time you eat and drink and, as long as this remains in balance, the teeth remain healthy. Problems arise when the periods of demineralization outpace the remineralization. Minerals are irreversibly lost from the enamel and, if this continues, cavitation of the enamel surface occurs and a cavity begins to form.
The acidic pH episode also favors the growth of acidic microbes in your biofilm which are responsible for cavities. So, it can become a vicious cycle of recurring cavities. Make sure you visit your dentist regularly for checkups and professional cleanings. Your dentist can assess your caries risk and make recommendations to help you maintain a healthy pH balance and a healthy mouth. Thanks so much again for the question, I am always happy to talk about dental caries.
And if you, dear listener, would like more information on all things dental, head to carifree.com, that's C-A-R-I-F-R-E-E.com, where we've got more resources on dental health and our line of CariFree products that can help you keep a healthy smile. But right now, let's get back to the conversation.
A couple of things, number one, you're a woman in what, when I entered the profession in the dark ages, was a really male-dominated profession. It was a good old ... Boy, I was just having this conversation recently but there was so much hazing that went on in dental school when I was going through that, for a lot of my colleagues, it was a real bitter experience and that hazing couldn't take place today, not in the Me Too world. At the time, there were very few women dentists. Now, half the profession is women.
Did you ever face any bias other than ... You gave me a perfect example. "Well, honey, I've been doing this longer than before you were born. What in the world could you possibly teach me?"
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Right.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Do you feel bias at times at being a woman in the profession?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Not as much anymore and it's hard to say because ... Maybe more so because maybe people have heard of my name, now it's different. But for a long time, anywhere I went that was dental related, if it was a special invitation dinner or anything like that, everyone always assumed I was the spouse which is fine.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
That's interesting.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
But also, there were times when I first got into the educational role that, yeah, I think I'm judged a bit by being female or maybe how I dress. And when I first got in education, I would try and I put on the black suit, I would pull my hair back in a bun and do what I felt was look the part to be taken serious.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Put on the power suit.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Pull up the big girl pants.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
And I'm like, "No, I'm just going to be me." And I love clothes, I love fashion, I love shoes and I'm going to wear what I would wear. And if people are going to judge me by that, I ... Yes, I've experienced it but probably a lot less now but it's hard to say because of where I am now in my career versus maybe 10 years ago.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right. But it sounds like authenticity is important to you, too.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right. That that's come about here I am, I'm Amanda.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I feel like that's a role now. Whether you want to or not as an educator, if you get to this place where you become a mentor to other people, which is so humbling, but when these women look up to me or ask me to mentor them, I want to be authentic and real. I want to show who I am and I'm funny sometimes, serious other times. I have a family, I like to cook. I really hid a lot of personal things from the outside world when I first got into education because I wanted to be taken seriously and I didn't want to be judged. And I felt like, if people knew that I used to dance or that I really wasn't even that good of a student or that I was less, and maybe a lot of it was that's part of me, my self-doubt, my upbringing but I think your mind grows as you grow. Hopefully, we all evolve.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
You get more comfortable with yourself.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I think. That's one of the things I experienced in my own life as I've gotten older, you just get more and more comfortable with who you are and, love me or leave me, that's just who I am. I love me, my wife loves me, my kids love me-
Dr. Amanda Seay:
And that's what matters.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
... and that's all that matters, really.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I want to talk about your kids and the family and that balance because I think that's so important. You brought up a point, women come to you and they're feeling guilty or they're feeling challenged by trying to have it all, have a career, have a family and balance all of that. I was a single dad for a lot of years raising a couple of kids and so I can totally relate to the being the super mom thing. I fixed breakfast, take the kids to school, go to the office, work all day, pick the kids up, grocery shop, fix dinner, help with homework, do laundry and get to bed at midnight and get up at 5:00 the next morning and do this over. How do you strike that balance? How old are your kids now? You've got four children?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I have four, yeah. I have a 19-year-old daughter, 17-year-old son, a 15-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old daughter.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh, I need to give you a hug.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah. So, I have all teens. Oh, trust me, it's a different place in my household these days. So, my oldest is off to college and the other three are all in high school but it's a different busy and it's a different stress than when I had four under the age of five.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah, right, right. Or under the age of 12 even, they're so busy.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Teenagers are just more challenging personally, right?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Right. There's things you can't fix for them.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
When they're little and they would cry, I could give them a snack or give them a hug or maybe they needed a nap. But now it's bigger problems or problems you can't fix for them, this is the growing up part that they have to figure out.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And it doesn't really help them to try and take that away from them.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
That's right.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I've said it once and I'll say it again, grandchildren are your eventual reward for not killing your teenage kids and Amanda has four of them, unbelievable. Amanda's husband continues to inspire and support her, providing her with the space to make key career decisions that have significantly benefited her professional development.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
We all have different personal struggles and I have an amazing husband who supported what I wanted to do and so I wouldn't be able to do it had I not had that support because it is time and money away from the family. And if I'm off doing CE, someone has to take care of the kids and, if I didn't have my husband to support me in doing that, I wouldn't be able to.
The planning was key. When I first started and I went to Pankey, that was my big CE that I did and it was in Key Biscayne, Florida. We took the kids to Key Biscayne when I was at Pankey, my husband would go too and we'd have, by the pool, as soon as I'm done with my class, we would eat dinner and do fun stuff. And then when we'd go back from Pankey, we would drive up to Orlando and do Disney World. And so, Disney World and Pankey were the big vacations every year for the first several years but we budgeted for it, we planned for it and made it a part of our family value, our experience, our trips.
And we continued to do that as much as we could and so I just told my husband, I said, "Listen, I'm graduated from here, I want to start a different curriculum and this one cost X, Y, Z and this is my goal." And we planned for it because you never can really afford it, at least we couldn't at the stage we were in our life with four young kids and with a new practice that I started from scratch. I had nothing but debt but it was important to me and I knew it was going to make me a better dentist. Even though I wasn't sure how I was going to implement it into my practice, it was still something that was really important to me and so we planned for it financially and the time for it.
And the most amazing part of doing the CE of that caliber is, as you get into it, the further you go along, you meet people who are like-minded, who want the same thing, desire the same thing and you connect with them. And so, when you come back home and you're in the throes of every day, running the practice and feeling down, you have people that can hold you accountable, that you can talk to, that lift you up and you can share life with. Because I would go to Kois and I'd be like, "I'm going to do amazing things," and I would come back and you have team members, you have business and things would just happen and I'm like, "Oh, how am I ever going to do this? How am I going to implement what I just learned?"
But the people that you meet, the people that push you and inspire you, you call them up and you say, "Okay, how did you do this? Tell me," your circle becomes bigger. And so, leaning on your colleagues and your mentors, that really are the things that I didn't know I would get so much value out of, I was so focused on just the graduation piece. I'll graduate from here, I'll graduate from here and then I'll be really good. And yes I will be good if you go to more CE, anybody would, but it's the implementation piece and the people that you find that you learn from in the process that really has enriched my life the most.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So, the relationships that you picked up, that you developed along the way really enriched your life and your ability to be a better dentist and having that network?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes, yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah, important.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes. I have to say, my husband inspires me the most. He's just a unique individual. He's very spiritual but in a way that doesn't alienate people. He inspires people without trying to be inspirational. He's just such a glass is always half full believer and optimist, he finds the joy in everything. So, if it's a stressful day, he'll find the joy in something about the day that is so fantastic and he'll say it. And it's almost like the corny dad joke the kids are always like, "Oh, my gosh, Dad's going to be like, 'Today's a great day,'" but he really is and that has really infiltrated my mindset being with him now for almost 23 years.
Because I think, by nature, I'm such a nervous person and I get anxious, I'm a doubter or I see like, "Ooh, how can I do this? I don't think I can do this, I don't think I can do this." Whereas, he has slowly shifted to me, just find the joy in what you do and you'll be better at it, you'll get good at it and, in helping people, you'll help yourself as well. And so, he is, I think, the most inspirational person.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I think there is something to be said about learning from your peers. Being able to pick up the phone and call someone you trust and admire is invaluable and it complements formal learning so well. It's the old networking piece, the more connections you have, the more you grow. Maybe the most important person Amanda has learned from is her husband. He seems like a person who pushes her to see the positives and strive for more. Amanda dreams big and I want to know what she wants to achieve the next five to 10 years.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
So, it sounds so crazy to even be saying these words right now out loud to someone but I-
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Hey, you're saying it to me so-
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I know, I know. So, we're looking to build a new building where I'll combine my existing two practices into one big location so all the doctors will be under one roof. But I'm actually thinking about making an education space connected to it so that we can do an education series, a center essentially, there and we can do live, over the shoulder patient, hands on and offer those because, right now, we've run out of hotels that we're doing it. We're going on our fifth year now but we have storage units for all of our handpieces and curing lights and this and that. So, it's becoming a bit of a clunky operation because it's grown so much but yet we don't have our own space.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
It's a lot of work.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
It is a lot of work and it's crazy to think that I would have an education place but that's the goal, I think. And I know a lot of these fascinating people have big dreams and big goals. I don't have a long-term big goal ever, things open and evolve as I just try to be better at what I do. And when it presents itself, then I allow myself to think about that next step and how to make that next step happen.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I want to just read one of your quotes to you, Amanda.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Life has an uncanny way of presenting us with unexpected opportunities that challenge us to step out of our comfort zones.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Sounds like that's where you're at right now.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah, yeah. So, it's super uncomfortable. I'm like, "What if I build this and nobody comes?" You know what I mean?
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah. I can see you just being a rock star right in the center of that center.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Oh, thank you. Well ...
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah. And teaching so many people to improve their skills and become better dentists, better aesthetic dentists. I clearly can see that.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Thank you. I'm a hands-on dentist, that's how I practice and I do things pretty fast and pretty efficiently. I probably run a practice, I think, like most people do, a very general practice but how do you do really beautiful dentistry running a very busy general practice. And so, I want the center to be a place of education that is hands-on learning that way where I'm going to walk you through and show you how we do this. And God bless the unicorns like John Kois who ... I don't even know how he comes up with what he does. I'm not trying to teach occlusion or those things, I'm trying to teach the aesthetic implementation piece into practice.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
For me, tooth decay, dental caries has been my focus for the last two-thirds of my career, the last 30 years. But just me trying to stay on top of just that topic, it takes all I've got. And so, when I look at all these other disciplines in dentistry and to be able to stay on top of each one of those-
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
... I hear you saying the same thing about aesthetic dentistry and I can totally relate because the world of dental caries is all I can keep up with. So, when I look at somebody who has taken all those disciplines and putting together a system and staying on top of that, it's inspirational.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yes, yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right? So, thank you for sharing that. What's one thing that you would say that people wouldn't know about you? I think we learned a lot today-
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I know.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
... that most people don't know about you. But what's one thing that you would say just about you that people wouldn't know?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Let's say that my real name isn't Amanda. My Vietnamese name is Vy-anh, V-Y, hyphen, A-N-H, and my last name is Nguyen, N-G-U-Y-E-N. So, being the only child for a long time and growing up in a predominantly very Caucasian neighborhood and, like I said, I didn't do typical childhood things, I didn't play with toys, I didn't ... I was with my mother. And so, my mother loved the show Dynasty which is this soap opera drama. And in Dynasty was this beautiful princess who had blonde hair and blue eyes, everything I was not, and her name was Amanda. So, I'm like, "Oh, to be Princess Amanda. She's so pretty, she's so kind, she's all these things."
And so, I came into second grade and nobody could ever pronounce my name because I was the only Asian kid in my area, literally. First day of second grade and you have a little cardboard piece of paper on the front of your desk that has your name on it, so it had Vy-anh on it. And the teacher said, "Okay, everybody, we're going to go around the room, stand up, introduce yourself and, if you have a nickname, tell us what the nickname is." And so, got to me and so she's like, "Vi-an," and I said, No, it's Vy-anh," and she's like, "Okay, Vy-anh, are you from here and do you have a nickname?" And I said, "I just moved here and my nickname is Amanda."
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So, that's where that came from?
Dr. Amanda Seay:
So, that's where it came from. And I came home and I told my mom and she just laughed. She was very furious, actually, but she laughed like whatever. You can call yourself whatever you want at school but, at home, your name is Vy-anh. And so, legally, I graduated NYU Dental School as Vy-anh Nguyen and I got married right before I graduated dental school but I didn't get everything changed over. So, then, when I opened my practice, I had that diploma hanging on the wall and I remember my patients coming in and being like, "Wait, who's the other doctor?" And I'm like, "Oh, gosh, I need to change this," so then I got it changed over to Amanda Seay.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh, wow. Well, Amanda, what a great story.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And I appreciate you so much for being so open and sharing with us today. And you are-
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Thank you.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
... truly beautiful inside and out, Amanda.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
Thank you. Thank you, Kim, for having me.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah.
Dr. Amanda Seay:
I'm honored, truly.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Dr. Amanda Seay was such a wonderful guest and I really appreciate how vulnerable she was in our conversation. It just goes to show that not everyone who's extraordinary is always confident and sure of themselves, there's often a lot more going on under the surface than you may think. Thank you so much to the graceful Amanda Seay for speaking with me and thank you for coming on this journey with me today.
Around here, we aim to inspire and create connections, we can't do it without you. If this conversation moved you, made you smile or scratched that little itch of curiosity today, please share it with the extraordinary people in your life. And if you do one thing today, let it be extraordinary.