Episode 33-
Mark Benavides
Humor and Candor with Dr. Mark Benavides
Today’s guest is Dr. Mark Benavides, a dentist practicing in Ottawa, Illinois. Mark is a member of several prestigious organizations, including the American Academy of Restorative Dentistry and the International Congress of Oral Implantologists.
He also holds a unique role as the Scientific Advisor for Computer Technology at the Kois Center. Mark is the only dentist who is a member of iXorg, an organization that provides technical education and business networking to its members.
In honor of Father’s Day 2024, this episode features a few heartwarming stories about Mark’s father - an incredible surgeon who inspired many people throughout his life.
This episode contains some strong language.
Resources
Follow your curiosity, connect, and join our ever-growing community of extraordinary minds.
Dr. Mark Benavides on LinkedIn
What's In This Episode
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How Mark’s journey to becoming a surgeon changed
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Why Mark’s father was such an influential character
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How to spot an ‘asshole’ at work
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Why a smile goes a long way
Transcript
Dr. Mark Benavides:
My patients come to me because I'm honest. My patients come to me because I'm blunt. I'm not financially driven, and I tell them my version of hell is everyone I've annoyed or hurt is waiting for me. I want a short line. I appreciate my patients. They appreciate me. I don't spend a penny on advertising. It's all word of mouth.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
On Contrary to Ordinary, we explore the motivations, lives, and characters of innovators who see limitless potential around them. Through these conversations, we hope to provide insight into how you can emulate the mindsets of these extraordinary people in your own life and work. My name is Dr. Kim Kutsch, and I spent over 20 years in dentistry before creating CariFree.
We offer a range of dental products to the industry and the public that promote the health and wellness of people suffering from the disease of dental caries. This week I'm delighted to speak with the candid and hilarious Dr. Mark Benavides, a dentist practicing in Ottawa, Illinois. Mark is a member of several prestigious dental organizations, including the American Academy of Restorative Dentistry and the International Congress of Oral Implantologists.
He also holds a unique role as scientific advisor for computer technology at the Kois Center. In honor of Father's Day 2024, this episode features a few heartwarming stories about Mark's father, an incredible surgeon who inspired many people throughout his life. Before we dive in, I want to note that this episode contains some colorful language. Mark is refreshingly unfiltered, so be warned. Let's jump in with Mark.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'll tell a story from second grade where Sister Mary Holywater told me, "Go stand in the corner," and I stood in the corner. She goes, "The closet." I was that child. I was not angelic.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So you were kind of a challenge.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Yeah, there's a bubble over my head of what my parents must have gone through. I don't want it recorded in a podcast. God bless them. I'll tell you right after we get away from the microphones.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Was that a function of you being challenging existing paradigms, coloring outside the lines, marching to the beat of your own drum? What's the driving thing there, Mark?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Well, growing up, grew up in Detroit. My dad is a surgeon or was a surgeon. He's been dead a few years. Now, you got to think late '50s, early '60s. Detroit back then is like Chicago today. It's a knife and gun club. And upon finishing his residency, the Navy said, "Congratulations! You're going to serve on the USS Midway as a surgeon." So he served on an aircraft carrier in the Seventh Fleet. We spent several years.
We moved to California while dad was in the Seventh Fleet, and then he served time in Vietnam, in Da Nang, and it was very, very rough. Seriously, God bless the people who serve our country. Serious. The service is unbelievable. I will say one thing, when I graduated from high school, there was still a draft. And my dad, very low-key gentleman other than saying, "If you get drafted, you are going to McGill University in Canada, in Toronto. You will not be drafted. I've done time for the family. I'm not seeing two of us go there."
I can only assume he saw horrible shit and didn't want me to experience the same thing. Dad already knew me well enough to know I wouldn't do well.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
You wouldn't have survived well in the military, Mark.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
No.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
No. If you color outside the lines, the military is a bad choice for you.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Agreed.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So getting back to your childhood, however, were you a curious child or were you just challenging?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I think curious. I was incredibly fortunate to go to a Catholic high school in Detroit. There's stories. Again, I count my blessings. And then a Catholic grade school, Catholic high school. True story. Beginning of my sophomore year, Father, I'll leave his name blank, pulls me out of class and he goes, "Mark, you're seventh from the bottom of the class. Either you shape up immediately or you're out of school."
I'm like, "Father, there's 21 people in the class. I don't see why you're so upset." He goes, "The entire school." I graduated with honors. I'm going to say I think the incentive for me if I had to land the plane is a shoe up the ass pretty much gets my attention. And to go from seventh to the bottom to graduate with honors in three years.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So were you artistic?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Not at all. That lobe is dead. Right next to the artistic lobe is the name lobe. They both have atrophy.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Okay, so let me back up here a second, Mark, because you're an amazing photographer.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Blind squirrel finds a lot of nuts.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm not buying that. I'm not letting you get away with that. I've seen your photography and particularly bald eagles are a passion of yours. And your photography is stunning, Mark.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Thank you.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And so there's an artistic eye there.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
That goes back to dentistry.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
That's very interesting.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
From what I did doing intraoral photography and extraoral photography to communicate with the lab as to what I want or the patient. Actually this weekend here in Seattle, I brought my camera. One of the other dentists who's attending wants me to go through how do you get your pictures? And I go, I take five pictures on every patient or even on four-year-olds I'll get these pictures.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I want to talk about your origin story into dentistry then, Mark. Everybody has a story. Did little Mark Benavides want to be a dentist when he was six years old or where did that come from then?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I will say one time in grade school I was outside the house and I forgot what neighbor said, "You're dressed like a dentist." It has nothing to do with where I am today. The side story is I was accepted to med school. I attended two years of med school. One of my friends in med school, one of my classmates literally ended up in a rubber room. The stress is so hard. I bow to physicians. They know a lot.
I go in probably a week or two from the end of the second year of med school and I go, "I need to take a leave of absence or I'm going to be in the adjacent room with my friend in a rubber room." They granted me the leave of absence. At that time I was also racing bicycles. I was a Cat 3 USCF, United States Cycling Federation, Cat 3 Road Racer, Cat 4 Track Racer.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So bicycles have been... I know that that's one of your passions, but so that's been a passion from way back as well.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I didn't buy a car until I was 27. So part of my history is living in Minneapolis and riding a bicycle every day to work. Minneapolis does have a thing that some people wouldn't know. It's called winter. They have real winter, real winter. And in fact, back then in the '70s, I had to ride a three-speed bike because it had an internal hub where you switch gears.
A chain with a derailleur and snow and ice, they just don't work well. You're stuck in one gear, have a nice day, or it jams up and you're screwed. I had an old Sturmey-Archer rally bicycle that I'd ride in the winter. I rode my 10 speeds in the summer. And it was, honest to God, kids, five miles to and from work.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
But it wasn't uphill both ways.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
On occasion it could be with those headwinds.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Mark, let me back up just for a second. So you were at Marquette at the medical school in Marquette.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Medical College of Wisconsin. Correct. And then I spent several years up in Minneapolis-Saint Paul three years afterwards working at the University of Minnesota Hospitals as an EKG tech for a while and also called patient monitoring. Back in the day, cardiologists would put Swan-Ganz catheters through the heart or arterial lines. The people I worked with were in charge, or I ran the balloon pump. There was only two of us who did that. And so one time I'm back home on vacation in Detroit and my boss calls and says, "Matt has been up for 40 hours straight. Your vacation's over."
I go, "It's a 13-hour drive. I'll probably get a speeding ticket or two. I'm on my way." Two speeding tickets later and 11 hours, I took over for Matt at the hospital. So my focus was pre-med, like father, like son, to be like dad the surgeon, which people would kill to be like my dad. My friend on the cycling team told me, "You need to talk to my dad. He's head of radiology at Marquette and you ought to switch from med school to dental school." I ended up finally speaking to the doctor and he arranges a meeting with the dean of the dental school.
To sum it up, he goes, "Get back to me in two weeks." I end up going, "Well, I'll miss two weeks of dental school." He goes, "Your background, don't worry." And two weeks later, I was accepted to Marquette Dental School. It was a scenic route to be a dentist. No regrets. Absolutely none. I appreciate the time I spent in med school. It makes me appreciate what physicians go through, what crap.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Many people lack the confidence to follow their inner voice and enact change in their lives. I get it. We live in a world where we're constantly bombarded by an ever expanding number of choices, making it incredibly hard to figure out what we truly want. I've observed that many extraordinary individuals have the ability to listen deeply to their inner voice, which guides them clearly in their life's direction.
Sometimes, as in Mark's case, trusting that inner voice can lead to a vocation different from the one originally anticipated. In his book, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation, Parker J. Palmer writes that as we journey through life, our priorities and values evolve, and so does our calling. He uses the metaphor of seasons to describe this fluid process, highlighting that different jobs and paths will emerge as we move through our careers.
Whether or not we have the courage to take a leap of faith into something we truly want is another matter. Earlier in this episode, I mentioned that Mark had a remarkable father. Here's a story about him that I think reveals just how extraordinary he was.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Junior or senior year of college, my dad takes me, allows me to go with him. He was the only surgeon not to be on faculty at Wayne State University who would work the hospital. The residents loved him. They called him Gentle Ben, the singing surgeon. That was his nickname at the hospital he worked at. Anyway, we walk into the emergency room at 6:00 PM. We get a tour, meet the nice doctors and nurses and staff and police.
Detroit Receiving Hospital is the first hospital in the nation to have a jail cell built in the ER, just to give you a background on what kind of hospital this is. At 1:30 in the morning, he gets a call. We go back to the emergency room. If you think I've got a foul mouth, you should be in an ER at 1:00 in the morning when patients I'm going to guess 80% are handcuffed to a gurney or a wheelchair.
You've got patients hollering at doctors, hollering at nurses. Then we get called up to the operating room. We go up there. There's a gentleman up there. They have his chest open. He'd been shoved out of a seventh story window, and they're trying to reassemble the parts. His chest is cracked wide open and they're putting things together. And then he goes in the V-tach.
Now, this is the '70s. They grab the paddles. For those unaware, if your chest is open, it's a different set of paddles on what you see on the boob tube. It's two pieces of cloth. You put one on each side of the heart and then you yell clear. They yell clear, and then the heart goes flat because smoke is coming out of the chest. They cooked the heart. This is a sprint pin drop moment.
All eyes pivot to my dad. We're standing with the anesthesiologist behind the curtain, and it's dead silent in that OR. What's my dad's response? He goes, "You'll never make that mistake again the rest of your life." He turns and walks out. My head's watching my dad, I'm turning around looking at the whole OR crew back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
And then I follow my dad out. This is the lesson. I go, "Dad, what happened?" He goes, "Piling on accomplishes nothing. They know they screwed up big time and being an ass accomplishes nothing. They're already low and they know they screwed up." I go, "But what happened?" He goes, "Oh, there's a switch on that machine, external versus internal."
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh geez.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
So instead of 30 watts per channel, whatever they charge, they hit 350 watts and did medium rare heart.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh geez.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
The reason I tell the story is this is why people loved my dad, and my dad's reputation was if he put a scope in somebody and he saw something interesting, he can care what you did. Are you another doctor, a nurse, janitor? You got to look at this. You'll never see this. That was his reputation.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Hey, Contrary to Ordinary listeners, I want tell you a little bit about my company, CariFree. We offer affordable science-based solutions to common dental health concerns for the whole family. Vanish cavities for good and welcome in a healthy smile and a great first impression. Visit CariFree.com for more details. Now, back to the show. So those traits that your dad had, how did those show up in your life?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I tell my patients I have two reputations I've worked very hard at. One is I'm painless. Two is I'm obnoxious.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I don't think you have to work at the obnoxious part. That would be interesting to see actually. So what are a couple of values in your own life, Mark, that are most important to you?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Honesty. My patients come to me because I'm honest. My patients come to me because I'm blunt. I'm honest. Tell them, "Look, my rent from my office is 1,500 a month. Oh, the check's to me too. Let's see." I'm not financially driven, and I tell them my version of hell is everyone I've annoyed or hurt is waiting for me. I want a short line. And I'm Just honest.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So you bring up a point. So you're not driven by finances.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Not at all. Do the right thing.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
That's another common trait that I see in extraordinary people. They have this internal drive that motivates them to help people that the money... It's not fame or money that drives them.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
No, not at all. Not at all.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So what drives you, Mark, then?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I think treat them like family that you like.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
The family that you like?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Yeah.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Right, okay.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Just do what's right. So for instance, yes, I'm the dentist at a nursing home, et cetera, et cetera. And I tell the families, look, I don't want the kids pissed I took the inheritance. That's not my goal in life. If I can solve your problem by putting a little liquid on your teeth to tell them to shut up for a year or two because you only got six months, I don't say that part out loud, but it's like I want you comfortable. Keep your teeth as long as you can. And if they're not barking at you, hallelujah.
Yeah, I do. It came up earlier today when I introduced myself to the class this morning. I'm in a rural area, a town of 18 thou. 20% roughly is farmers, also honest people. There's an exception here or there, but that's life. I mean, I appreciate my patients. They appreciate me. I don't spend a penny on advertising. It's all word of mouth. And if I get a new patient, they'll say, "So-and-so referred me to see you." I'm like, "What'd you do to piss her off?" That's usually how we start and it goes downhill from there. No.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So Mark, how do you deal with challenges in your life?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Usually four-letter words. Next question.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Somehow I saw that coming or I should have seen that coming.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Challenges like what?
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I don't know, just challenges in life, whether it's in your practice or with a patient or maybe...
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Personal. Professional.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Yeah. Just any challenge in your life. How do you typically deal with challenge? Do you spend time thinking about it? Do you just lean into it and power your way through it? How would you describe yourself with that?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'm going to say, for instance, I had a patient, who shall remain anonymous, who was in my office yesterday, sincerely apologetic for her behavior when I took out several teeth and delivered an immediate flipper. I mean to the point of tears. I go, "I'm not holding a grudge. I'd probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes and on meds. I get that, you're not going to be yourself."
I go, "I don't lose sleep. I don't focus on it. I move on. I may be a bit of an aberration." One of my staff has been with me for more than 30 years. I had a hygienist with me more than 20 until she retired. I hire for the long haul. And I will say I do the same thing as my dad. If I see something interesting while I'm working, I'll hand them a mirror and go, "Look at this. How often do you see this?"
I try to educate them, and they appreciate that. I'm also on the I don't want to say staff, but I help volunteer at the local community college in their dental assisting program. That depending, it could be a plus, could be a minus. They know I lack a filter when I come out. Some of the students are like, "You work for Benavides? I'm jealous," because I try to teach them.
One of the things I tell them is, I don't want you to sit here and just suck spit. You're looking at the same patient from a different angle. Things I don't. You see something, you say something. You're not going to offend me.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And I think you probably got some of that from your dad as well, would you say?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'd say that, yeah. And some of my instructors... Marquette story. I'm in senior dental school. Graduation's about a month. I go up to one of the instructors and I go, "What brand loops do you recommend?" And he looks at me like, "What the hell do you need loops for?" And I go, "Well, they were good enough for you to check my work for four years. I think I need to check my work in about a month when I don't have someone overlooking me." So yeah, I bought two sets of loops.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I have a sense that when one of your team makes a mistake, that instead of berating them or God, I hear these horror stories from dentists.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I hear that too. No, I'm not that guy.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
That the dentist threw the instrument across the room and stormed out of the room or yelled at them in front of the patient. You're the guy that probably doesn't say anything.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'll say absolute minimal, or I might go, "Geez, look at you. You're a step ahead." I'm serious. I have that discussion with my "new assistant." She's been with me, I don't know, four to six months. And I go, "You're a step ahead of me. Awesome," because she's got the instrument in the hand or the next procedure. She's got everything. I mean, I look in her hand, it's right there. I like that. I commend them. The patients hear this. It's good for everybody. And I tell my patients, "Our practice is successful despite me. It's my staff or who keeps me in line."
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
On Contrary to Ordinary, I've met many incredible teachers and mentors who have cultivated nurturing, learning, and working environments. However, we've all experienced being in a workplace or educational setting with someone who isn't supportive. In these instances, we may have encountered a "asshole." In his book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't, Harvard professor Robert Sutton explains how detrimental bad actors can be to our progress and work and study.
How do you work out if someone is an asshole, you might ask. Well, Professor Sutton provides two handy tests to identify one. Test number one, after talking to the alleged asshole, does the target feel oppressed, humiliated, deenergized, or belittled by that person? In particular, does the target feel worse about themselves? Test number two, does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those who are more powerful?
If any of these criteria are met, then you've probably had an encounter with an asshole. Professor Sutton cites numerous studies that show increased absenteeism and quitting among employees who work with an asshole. The moral of the story, don't be an asshole. Mark is the exact opposite of an asshole, and we should all be thankful that he's practicing. Still practicing?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'm 68. All right?
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh, you're just a kid.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I'm just a child. I still see my colleagues in their 70s, late 70s, still practicing. And I tell my colleagues, as long as I do good work, I'll continue that. And as kind of a side note, a little bit of a honk, I have patients who work at other dental offices.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Oh wow!
Dr. Mark Benavides:
That's all I'm going to say. You can do the math.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And at some point in time you probably have dentists as patients as well.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
On occasion. Not as much. I mean, we're blessed to have someone like John Durango. He's one of the best, and he's 15 miles away. He's my dentist. I haven't seen him in, I don't know, 20 years, because his work lasts. It's done right. They're quiet. They're fixed.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So when you think about extraordinary and extraordinary people, do you think that's something that they're born with, or do you think it's something that they learn along the way from a mentor? Or is it a choice that they've made, like a decision that they've made?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Heredity. Environment. A little bit of both.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
I guess that's what I'm asking.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So your answer is yes.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
My answer is yes.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Maybe a little bit of all the above.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Yeah. It's who you're exposed to, looking at things in a positive light instead of being Debbie Downer. That's what I try to do.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
What do you think about happiness? How would you define happiness, Mark?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I tell my patients and my staff and anyone, I go, I care about my wife and myself. That's it. I can't address the rest. Not my job, not my problem. Out of my control. And with that, I don't care. I smile. I work at smiling at people. I saw it this morning, walking to the center. I see some stranger in the dark at 5:00 AM. Here's Mark smiling.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
But I just think I'll be walking down a street in a city and I'll smile at somebody, a stranger, and their immediate response is a smile back.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Absolutely.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
And I think we just need to get back to a point where we smile at each other, that we look for things that we have in common rather than what our differences are. Are you a reader, Mark? Do you like to read?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I read a bit. I mean, I try to read with "the news." If it's from Hollywood, I'm sorry, that lobe is dead. I could give a crap. I try to keep up on current affairs. I try to keep some science. I got an email from a colleague going, "How in the hell do you catch all this cybersecurity crap?" I go, "Well, I have an iPhone. I go to my Apple News. I add the topic cybersecurity. I add the topic ransomware. I add the topic." But I look for articles pertaining to those to see what's the screw-up du jour.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
What's happening right at the moment?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
What can I do to be safe? That's the stuff I'll read. What can I do to decrease my presence when I'm on a network?
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Your digital footprint.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
I don't want to scream who I am.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
So what's one thing, Mark, we've covered a lot of territory here today, and I really appreciate that, what's one thing about you that you would say people wouldn't know?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Probably the two years in med school. That's not something I verbalize. I'll go back to that time. It's what in the hell can I do with a year and almost two years worth of education. You don't get half an MD degree. You don't get just an M. Maybe a D. That's something I don't speak a lot about. I've come to terms with it. No regrets. No. For instance, one time I'm in a hospital and I'm reading the EKG. How the hell's a dentist know this?
I go, well, I took anatomy in dental school. Total makeup. Then I tell them, "No, I used to interpret these as a job." I actually interpreted Holter monitors. That's where you're a monitor for a day or whatever. I'd have to interpret it. And then contact if we saw abnormalities. That was good stuff.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Well, thank you so much today, Mark Benavides. Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Smile.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Smile. I like that. Thank you so much.
Dr. Mark Benavides:
Thank you. I appreciate your time.
Dr. Kim Kutsch:
Thank you so much, Dr. Mark Benavides, for joining me today. And thank you for going on this inspiring journey with me. Around here we aim to inspire and create connections. We can't do it without you. If this conversation moved you, made you smile, or scratched that little itch of curiosity today, please share it with the extraordinary people in your life. And if you do one thing today, let it be extraordinary. Bye for now.